9 Tips for Happy, Long Lasting Relationships

Have you ever made silly mistakes that ruined great relationships?

Since making my own mistakes in the past, I’ve read a lot about the science of how to have happy and long lasting relationships—whether it’s with romantic partners, family, or friends. Below, I’d like to share 12 science-based tips to help you avoid disconnection and make your relationships flourish!


  1. Be honest.


Any issues you avoid, or truths you don’t want to acknowledge, will likely undermine your relationship. It’s better to face the truth squarely in the face right now and address it, rather than let it sabotage your relationship in the long run.


For that reason, be intentional and figure out the truth about your relationship. Think through all aspects of it—your feelings and thoughts, the other person’s feelings and thoughts, as well as their external context. If you notice yourself flinching away from a certain aspect of reality, this is the time to double down your focus and really get at the truth.


  1. Avoid “failing at their mind.”


One of the biggest dangers in close relationships is assuming the other person is exactly the same as you in their feelings and thoughts — in other words, “failing at their mind.” At times, our emotional self just doesn’t want to accept that the person we’re so close to is actually different from us—sometimes very different. I know I’ve made this mistake, and it has cost me dearly in the past. So how do we avoid it?


  1. Use Tell Culture.


Tell Culture is a communication strategy where you are open and honest with close people in your life about your feelings, thoughts, and what’s going on with you. This makes you more vulnerable and authentic. Tell them information about yourself that you think they’d want to know.


For example, if you want a hug, tell the other person that you’d enjoy a hug. However, in order for Tell Culture to work, it’s really important for you not to expect the other person to hug you. Rather, you are simply responsible for telling them about your needs and desires,. They are then free to act as they choose, based on their own needs and desires.


  1. Remove communication barriers.


For open and honest communication to work, you need to remove communication barriers. Figure out your individual communication preferences and then compromise on something that works well for both of you.


  1. Practice emotional attunement.


As you communicate with each other, don’t listen only to what the other person is saying, but also to the emotions underneath the words. Notice whether the other person seems stressed, frazzled, sad, frustrated, confused, pleased, glad, joyful, etc.


Pay attention to the tone of the voice, body language, and what is not being said, as well as the content of the words. Such emotional attunement will level up your ability to understand the other person and respond in ways that lead to happy, long lasting relationships.


  1. Check in on your relationships.


This is a magic-bullet solution to so many relationship problems! Schedule systematic meetings to talk about the state of your relationship and what can be improved.


For example, my wife and I have a relationship check-in every two weeks. We first talk about what we appreciated most about each other during the last two weeks. Then, we discuss what can be improved in our relationship, and how to do so. Finally, we finish up with gratitude to each other for doing the relationship check-in and have some delicious chocolate to reward ourselves. This has done wonders for improving our relationship!


  1. Trust others.


All of these strategies will help you build up trust, which is key to having happy, lasting relationships. Always keep a personal evaluation of your relationship’s level of trust in the back of your mind. How much do you trust the other person to act in ways that match your mental model of that person? How much do you trust that person to have your back?


If you want an intentional relationship, then do things to build trust and gather information about the other person’s trustworthiness. Exhibit vulnerability and openness, share secrets, and be generous in your offers to compromise. If the other person shows themselves trustworthy, then commit more to the relationship. If they do not, then re-evaluate your own level of commitment, as the relationship likely will not work in the long term.


  1. Respect boundaries and privacy.


Technological developments make it so easy for us to track each other and to be in constant communication. However, permitting each other to have privacy, as well as not pushing the other person to do things they’d prefer not to do, helps increase happiness in relationships, since it builds up mutual trust.


  1. Have healthy conflicts.


Surprise—conflicts can be healthy in relationships! If you go into a relationship expecting never to fight, then your first fight could very well lead to the end of the relationship. Instead, learn strategies for healthy conflict resolution, and talk about them with the other person beforehand.

Also, when a conflict does arise, start by highlighting how much you care about the other person and the relationship. Talk about both the facts and how you feel about them.

Avoid the blame game, and instead, be as generous as possible when interpreting the other person’s actions. Be open to changing your mind if you discover you made the mistake, and apologize quickly and profusely.

Avoid focusing on the past and instead orient toward better behaviour in the future. At the end of any conflict, focus on reconnecting and rebuilding emotional bonds strained by the conflict. We hope this technique to be so helpful in resolving tensions between us!

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5 Ways Running Benefits Your Health

Running is one of the most straightforward ways to get the important benefits of exercise, it’s easily accessible without the need to sign up to a gym and is a great way to help improve cardiovascular health. Here are 5 key ways in which running can benefit your health.


  1. Burns calories

Running helps to burn calories which can aid with weight loss or maintenance of your weight. The burning of calories even continues after you stop your run. Once you have finished running, your body’s metabolism can continue to burn more calories than when at complete rest.


  1. Strengthens muscles

Running strengthens your muscles. Even though running is primarily an aerobic activity, you still use a variety of muscles which will increase in their strength, tone and endurance. Running is an effective core workout, as it works and tones the muscles of your torso, the muscles from your pelvis to the shoulder and the abdominal, lower back, pelvis and hip muscles, to keep your spine aligned as you run.


  1. Improves mood

Feel-good brain chemicals and hormones such as serotonin and dopamine are produced when you run. This can help to reduce stress, anxiety and depression and make you feel happier. Concentration, memory and sleep also improve which in turn leads for a happier you!


  1. Increases cardiovascular health

Muscles get stronger with regular exercise, and it is important to remember the heart is also a muscle, therefore, the same rule applies. But just like other muscles, after intense exercise, you need to give yourself rest period to allow the heart time to recover.

Running can reduce your risk of heart disease by up to 35%. This can also mean a reduction in blood pressure and ‘bad cholesterol’ which also helps keep your heart healthy.


  1. Strengthens joints and bones

Running not only strengthens muscles but also strengthens your joints and bones too (including your knees!) Running increases bone mass and can help to prevent age-related bone loss such as osteoarthritis. So, despite hearing many people say ‘running can be bad for your knees’, studies show that running can actually improve knee health.

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improve your marriage

7 Ways to improve your marriage daily

This are tips to help you and your spouse improve your marriage.

Your marriage is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Interestingly enough, many people choose to put it on the back burner.

Have you noticed that when you’re happy in your relationship with your spouse, you tend to be happier with your job, kids, social life and everything else life throws your way?

Most likely, your answer is “yes,” and that’s because when you start making your marriage a priority, you begin to develop a “we’re in this together” attitude and life in general just seems easier.

After all, isn’t anything easier if you have someone you love and trust to go through it with?

Let us dive into 7 ways to improve your marriage every day


  1. Wake up early together

Set your alarm 10 minutes before you need to get up to spend some quality time with your spouse.

Have a cup of coffee together, discuss the morning news or simply stay in bed and cuddle. Those precious 10 minutes of alone time in the morning will set the tone for your day.

Let’s move to tip number 2.


  1. Kiss instead of peck

You and your husband are probably in the habit of pecking goodbye each morning before work and pecking once again when you see each other in the evening.

Today, when your wife comes home, surprise her with a long, passionate kiss. It doesn’t have to be a full-on make out session — a simple five extra seconds will work just fine.

Let’s move to tip number 3.

  1. Show affection when out in public

Remember back when you were dating and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other?

Now it seems whenever you run an errand together you’re more focused on the errand than each other.

Next time you’re out together — whether at the grocery store — hold your spouse’s hand. Take a moment to hug each other, even if it’s in the middle of the vegetable aisle supermarket.


  1. Consciously give her your “best”

Let’s face it — by the end of the day, she is exhausted.

She has given her all to your kids, her job, chores and dinner, but what about her?

Consciously make an effort to give her your “best” each and every day. Of all the people in your life, she deserves it the most.

Let us move to tip number 5 to improve your marriage.

  1. Shower together

Taking a shower with your loved one is a great and quick way to get some alone time.

It doesn’t have to lead to sex and it doesn’t have to be planned, just hop in! Your spouse will love the spontaneity and it’s certain to bring you closer on a daily basis.

  1. Read together

Reading for just 10 -20 minutes per day with your spouse will increase communication and help you form a deeper bond. We suggest reading a book meant for couples.

You can read early in the morning, before bed or out back on the patio — just make sure it happens.

Let us move to final tip.

  1. Talk

This one seems easy, but when was the last time you actually asked your spouse how their day was or what they’d like to do?

Make it a goal to ask your spouse daily how they’re doing and if they need anything from you.