Have you been feeling a little, well, unfulfilled lately? Has the temperature in your bedroom gone from blazing-hot to arctic-cold? Can you even remember the last time you and your lover reveled in the aftermath of a great, mind-altering romp?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, it could mean your sex life needs a boost. And if your sex drive is suffering, your relationship may suffer, too.
But you can’t solve the problem unless you’re actually sure you’re having one.
So, first things first: You need to determine whether your limited libido is just a rough patch, or the sign of a serious, permanent problem. Here are 10 red flags to help you figure it out.
1. You’d Rather Just Go to Bed
Granted, getting some good shut-eye is mighty important to your daily health, but choosing sleepover sex time after time is anything but a good sign.
2. You Suspect He’s Faking It
Pick your jaw up, ladies. This can happen. If he only seems to be in the mood when you accuse him of not, there’s a strong chance he’s faking the attraction to spare your feelings. Sit him down and explain to him that you’re looking for genuine emotions from him, then ask what you two can do together to work on enhancing the mood.
3. Bedtime Has Gotten Boring
Most couples have been there before, at least once. You know the scenario: You’re in the heat of the moment and just when things are really getting hot and heavy, someone pauses to bring up something random and way off-topic, like a late bill, or an overdue RSVP. The first time it happens, it’s funny, but if this continues, you must ask yourselves one very important question: Why are we suddenly so distracted?
4. Your Sexiness Goes Unnoticed
That sexy little number you bought for him during your last visit to the lingerie boutique is red-hot, yet the first time he saw you in it, it didn’t even raise his temperature. Sound familiar? Ask him what’s on his mind. If there’s something more pressing than you looking irresistible in next to nothing, you need to know about it.
5. You’re Off Schedule
If the romps you used to have nightly are happening so seldom that you can’t even remember the last time you had sex, it’s time to address the matter. Most couples have a sex schedule, and if yours is suddenly wide-open there’s certainly room for change.
6. There’s No Time to Cuddle
Occasional quickies aside, neither of you should want to rush sex. Putting intimacy on a timer is a recipe for disaster. If you find yourselves frequently saying things like “Only if we hurry,” or “Can you hurry it up, please?”, something’s definitely got to give.
7. He’s Just Not Feeling It
If your sex drive is in full gear and each night he passes on your advances, something is wrong. Barring a rough day, there should be no real reason he repeatedly passes on lovemaking.